Why We Feel Lonely and Odd – Free Ebook

One of the most basic facts about the human condition is that we know ourselves from the inside? But we know others only from what they choose or are able to tell us a far more limited an edited set of data We are continuously and intimately exposed to our own worries hopes desires and memories many of which feel Overwhelmingly intense strange vulnerable, or sad yet when it comes to other people We’re tightly restricted to knowing them through their public pronouncements to what they can or choose to reveal The hints and clues we’re left to play with are hugely imperfect guides to the reality of another person’s existence The result of what we termed this psychological Asymmetry is that we almost always think of ourselves as far more peculiar Shameful and alarming than other people we run into our experiences of anxiety anger Envy sex and distress Appear to be so much more intense and disturbing than those of anyone in the vicinity We art of course in truth really so odd. We just know a lot more about who we are The results of psychological asymmetry are loneliness and shyness We are beset by loneliness because we cannot imagine that others long and desire Envy and hate crave and weep as we do we feel ourselves cast out into a world of strangers Inherently different from everyone we live alongside and potentially fundamentally offensive to all those who might know us properly it appears in dark moments that no one could possibly both know and like us We also get shy easily intimidated by people who we assume cannot share in our vulnerabilities And whom we imagine would be entirely unable to relate to the petty grand perverse or idealistic thoughts that pass moment by moment through our minds if We reach important positions We feel like imposters beset by an impression that our quirks separate us from others who have occupied comparable roles in the past We grow boring and conventional mimicking the externals of other people on the false assumption that this is what they might truly be like inside The solutions to psychological asymmetry lie in two places art and love art provides us with accurate portrayals of the inner lives of strangers and With Grace and compelling charm shows us how much they share in troubles and hopes we thought we might be alone in experiencing and love gives us an occasional deeply precious sense of security to Reveal who we really are to another person and the opportunity to learn about their reality from a position of extreme secure proximity To overcome the effects of psychological asymmetry we must constantly trust especially in the absence of any evidence That everyone is likely to be far closer to what we are that is far Shyer more scared more worried and more incomplete than they are to resemble the personas They show to the world we are Fortunately not any of us quite as odd or quite as special as we might assume or fear At the School of Life we believe in developing emotional intelligence To that end we’ve also created a whole range of products to support that growth Find out more at the link on the screen now

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