How to Be a Good Friend – Free Ebook

some of the reason why we aren’t collectively so good at friendship is that we don’t have a clear idea of what a really good friend might be like it may therefore be worth trying to draw up a list of an ideal candidate so stuff focus our desires and spur us on to acquire the sort of character we would want to find in others firstly the ideal friend knows how to show weakness the ideal friend doesn’t try to prove how robust and successful they are on the contrary quite often they let us know awkward and potentially embarrassing things about themselves they show how much they trust us by confessing failings and sorrows which would open them up to possible humiliation from the world beyond they offer us the gift of their vulnerability secondly they’re genuinely interested in our sorrows and difficulties and yet they’re not shocked or even surprised by the weird and stupid things we’ve done they’re not judgmental they don’t come down harshly and critically on our weaknesses because they know themselves well enough to be alert to their own order and more troubled sides and they do us the graceful favor of assuming that behind the seams we are as radically imperfect as they are thirdly the proper friend is reassuring they don’t just flatter they understand how easily we lose perspective panic and underestimate our own ability to cope they know we’ve got zones of fragility that need to be treated very gently sometimes they get us so laugh at ourselves when on our own we’d be inclined to self-pity or rage fourthly a true friend helps build our self understanding there are so many things we don’t entirely comprehend about who we are we get agitated or defensive and we don’t really know why we find it tricky to pin down our goals we might have some strong opinions but it can be difficult to explain really why these ideas matter to us the right friend listens and helps us piece together the best account of our fears and excitements fifthly they help us think more often than it’s comfortable to admit we don’t quite know what we think until a proper friend gently asks us to expand on a thought to explain why we’re impressed by it and to find good answers to possible objections they see the potential in what we’re saying when we can’t sickly they help us to like ourselves the good friend likes us in ways we’re not easily able to like ourselves normally we’re intently alive to our own shortcomings it’s more obvious from our point of view what’s disappointing or frustrating about us than what’s endearing or attractive we need a friend because we’re liable to be so very unfriendly towards ourselves we tend to think that a true friend must be someone we spend a lot of time with but actually the ideal other becomes part of us we internalize who they are how they speak the way they smile the way they pause or get enthusiastic they continue to inhabit our brain even when we haven’t been in touch for a while or when they’re far away the good friend is always with us the confessions game is a simple game of cards and dice designed to facilitate more honest conversations by asking daring questions click on the link now to find out more

Leave a Reply