How Love Stories Ruin Our Love Lives – Free Ebook

we tend not to wonder too much what role made up love stories have in our lives generally we suppose they might just be entertainment but that’s wildly to underestimate how influential love stories can be arguably part of the reason we find modern relationships so hard is that we’ve been exposed to extremely unhelpful stories that don’t give us a correct map of love I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore that leave us feeling in relationships that not only are we suffering that our suffering has no equivalent in the lives of other more or less same people we break up or feel ourselves cursed in significant part because we’ve been exposed to the wrong love stories upon us we’ll never fall in love with anybody else it’s not let’s talk about our cottage yes well we’ll have a lovely cottage down in down in the archetypal romantic love story the drama hinge is almost entirely on how a couple get together and it ends as soon as they do all sorts of obstacles are placed in the way of love’s birth and the interest just lies in watching their steady overcoming they might be misunderstandings bad luck prejudice a war arrival or more poignantly shyness but in the end after endless tribulations the right people do eventually get into couples and so the story must come true but a wiser kind of love story would know that the real problem isn’t finding a partner it’s tolerating them and being tolerated over time it should appreciate that the start of relationships is not the high point that romantic culture assumes it’s merely the first step of a far longer more ambivalent and yet quietly far more heroic journey then there’s the issue of work in most love stories the characters may have jobs but on the whole these have little impact on their psyches work goes on somewhere else what one does for a living is not thought relevant to an understanding of love yet better more realistic love stories should show us that work is in fact a huge part of life with an overwhelming role in shaping our relationships motion for continuance DeBary versus Henderson it was sustained good – the judge consider your application for leniency rogers vs. Jinta you granted it green it’s the stresses of work that ends up generating a sizeable share of the troubles that lovers are going to have with one another people you work to this yes mister shadow to run an up-to-date organization here you know there’s too much luck too thick or too much laxity then there’s kids in romantic love stories children are incidental sweet symbols of mutual love or naughty in an endearing way they rarely cry take up little time and are generally wise and cute but ideally I love stories would shows that relationships are fundamentally oriented towards the having and raising of children and at the same time that children place a couple under near unbearable strains they almost always kill the passion that made them possible does it concern you that your daughter has just run away from home that’s a loaded question life moves from the sublime to the cotillion there are toys in the living room pieces of chicken under the table and no time to talk everyone is always tired this too is love our stories are so unhelpful to our actual loved lives we’ve learned to judge ourselves by the hopes and expectations fostered by the misleading medium of art by its standards our own relationships are almost all damaged and unsatisfactory no wonder separation or divorce so often appear to be inevitable they shouldn’t be we merely need to change what we watch and read so that we regularly take in stories that normalize our love troubles and show us an intelligent and helpful path [Music] you you

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